He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize