dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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