There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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