My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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