i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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