I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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