There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
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Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
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You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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