Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize