i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize