my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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