I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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