New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She bit a glass in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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