Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
two words...techno handjob
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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