So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
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Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
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He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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