She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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