Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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