How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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