i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
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