I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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