that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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