There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize