if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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