put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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