Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
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Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
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Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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