Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize