i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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