if only i could text you this smell
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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