It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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