I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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