We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
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Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
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I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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