I can tuck mytits in my pants
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
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