I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You ruined the universe
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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