You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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