Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize