she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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