i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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