so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
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We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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