When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
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I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
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Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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