cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize