Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
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