well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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