Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
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Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
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Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
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