It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize