So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
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throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
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Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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