found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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