did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
home. puking in laundry basket.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize