Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize