I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
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I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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