His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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