he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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